


tell them i love you

by tookumade



Series: Haikyuu!! MatsuHana Week - 2017 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:04:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11627964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tookumade/pseuds/tookumade
Summary: “Are you two serious about it, though?” Oikawa says dubiously after training when they’re leaving the clubroom together. “Could you seriously tell each other‘I love you’?”“Of course we’re serious!” protests Matsukawa at the same time Hanamaki says, “Of course we can!”(written for Haikyuu!! MatsuHana Week - Day 3 - romantic gesture)





	tell them i love you

To the surprise of literally no one, Matsukawa and Hanamaki arrive at volleyball practice one day, hands joined and held above their heads, and yell, “WE’RE DATING!” in place of their usual greetings. A number of their juniors blush; Yahaba chokes on his drink of water from his bottle, but that was more because of the volume of their yells than anything else; Mizoguchi-san groans into his clipboard; Iwaizumi spikes a few volleyballs at the new couple and barks, “ _That isn’t news! Go get changed, dumbasses!_ ”  
  
Oikawa? Oikawa doesn’t react _at all_. Which is, well, disappointing _._ It really _isn’t_ news, but he could at least give them _something_.  
  
“Are you two serious about it, though?” Oikawa says dubiously after training when they’re leaving the clubroom together. “Could you seriously tell each other ‘ _I love you_ ’?”  
  
“Of course we’re serious!” protests Matsukawa at the same time Hanamaki says, “Of course we can!”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“I can’t believe this doubt,” says Hanamaki. “We’ve practically been dating even before we met.”  
  
“What the fuck,” says Iwaizumi.  
  
“It’s just hard to tell when you’re being serious and when you’re joking, sometimes,” says Oikawa with a shrug, infuriatingly reasonable. “But, okay, good for you guys. You’re good together, so—“  
  
“You’re still doubting us,” Hanamaki complains.  
  
“Wh—? No!”  
  
“Do we have to start making out in front of you for you to believe it?” Matsukawa demands.  
  
“ _No!_ I believe you! Iwa-ch—”  
  
Without another word, Iwaizumi, who looks like he’s about to throw them all into the river, seizes Oikawa’s collar and picks up his pace and begins dragging him away. Matsukawa and Hanamaki watch them go.  
  
“Do you think that scared him off asking us ever again?” Hanamaki asks.  
  
Matsukawa nods serenely. “I think so.”  
  
“Nice.”  
  
They low-five each other, pause for a moment, and then link hands. Together, they continue on their way home.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hey, Matsukawa.”  
  
Matsukawa, on his way to the school rooftop for lunch as usual, turns to see Hanamaki come up to him. “Yeah? What’s— _ow!_ What—”  
  
Hanamaki cups Matsukawa’s face in his hands a little too forcefully and looks him dead in the eye. The tips of his ears begin to tinge red. “I… lo-o-o-ov-v-v… I’m… y…”  
  
He trails off and freezes. Matsukawa’s heart is actually thundering in his chest, and he says the first thing on his mind, which is: “You look constipated.”  
  
Hanamaki yelps in protest and shoves his face away, and they immediately break out into a play-fight, yelling and laughing until Matsukawa’s class’ representative, who had been passing by, pulls them apart, and they hastily apologise for scaring her.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“No matter how you look at it, _The Legend Ends_ was a much weaker film compared to the other two,” says Matsukawa on their route to school the next day.  
  
“They took a lot more liberties with the script,” says Hanamaki with a nod. “Half of everything that happened with the boat and Shishio was ridiculous. I mean, I loved it, but _really_.”  
  
“The bit with Aoshi—”  
  
“Yeah, _seriously_. How the hell did he even—but anyway, we should marathon all three films when we have a break.”  
  
“Did I lend my copy of _Kyoto Inferno_ to you?”  
  
“Nah, I think it was Yahaba.”  
  
“Ah, that’s right. I’ll get it back from him soon.”  
  
They fall into a comfortable lull in conversation as they walk, bumping arms every now and then. It’s nice, easy, casual—something they’ve both always enjoyed, and this easiness is probably half the reason they even decided to give dating a go. It’s always made sense to them, even if it sometimes doesn’t to other people.  
  
Hanamaki looks up when Matsukawa stops abruptly. “Matsukawa?”  
  
“I…” Matsukawa begins.  
  
“You,” says Hanamaki. “What’s up? Did you forget something?”  
  
“No, it’s—I’m…” Matsukawa clears his throat and feels his face begin to heat up. “I… lo–…ove… uh—”  
  
When Hanamaki realises what he’s trying to do, his mouth falls open slightly, but Matsukawa doesn’t continue, instead looking frozen, and they stand there in silence, staring at each other like gaping fish.  
  
A strangled noise escapes Matsukawa’s throat, and his cheeks flush brilliant red. After a moment, Hanamaki dissolves into hysterical laughter.  
  
“How did we get from talking about the _Kenshin_ trilogy to… _this?_ ” he wheezes.  
  
“I don’t know!” Matsukawa splutters. “I just… thought about it and… it seemed— _stop laughing, you dipshit_ , it’s not like _you_ didn’t just screw up yesterday!”  
  
“The look on your face—”  
  
“Wow, I can’t believe I am _single, now._ ”  
  
“Nooo, Matsukawa, come back—”  
  
Matsukawa begins power-walking away, but Hanamaki catches up to him easily and grabs his wrist, still laughing. Despite his best efforts, Matsukawa can’t quite hide a smile, and it lasts him all the way until they reach the school.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hold on, we’re gonna do this properly, okay?” Hanamaki says the day after, on their way home. They’ve reached the street where they usually split off, and he turns to Matsukawa and tugs on his sleeve.  
  
“What are we doing?” says Matsukawa blankly.  
  
“We are doing—that. The… thing.”  
  
“Oh.” Matsukawa nods in understanding. “Right.”  
  
“Yes. So.”  
  
“Are you gonna go first, or…”  
  
“I’m—oh, god, I didn’t even think this far. Can you go first?”  
  
“Hell no.”  
  
“ _Jackass_.”  
  
Matsukawa grins. “It was your idea today.”  
  
“My bad,” says Hanamaki sarcastically. “Fine.” He takes a deep breath and looks Matsukawa right in the eye and—  
  
“Anytime you’re ready,” says Matsukawa, a long pause later.  
  
“ _Fuck you._ ”  
  
“You’re blushing.”  
  
“ _So are you!_ ”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Come on, you—you give it a shot. I’m too…”  
  
“Flustered,” Matsukawa finishes for him. “That’s—”  
  
“Say ‘cute’, and I’m breaking up with you.”  
  
“You know me so well. Okay.” Matsukawa takes a deep breath and straightens up a little, looks at Hanamaki and—  
  
After yet another long pause, and with increasingly red faces, Matsukawa loses his nerve, leans over and gives Hanamaki a quick kiss, and then runs off down his street.  
  
“ _GET BACK HERE, YOU SHITLORD!_ ” Hanamaki yells after him.  
  
“Sorry! Let’s try again tomorrow!” Matsukawa shouts over his shoulder.  
  
“ _I’M GONNA KICK YOUR—_ ”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It keeps happening at least once every day over the next couple of days—one of them trying to spit out what should’ve been a fairly simple phrase, but ultimately failing as they both turn fire-engine-red and have to look away from each other. Half the time, they start laughing hysterically and banter like any other day, but it doesn’t escape either of them that the more they try… the less funny it becomes, the less they laugh about it, the more they walk away from each other in silence.  
  
They stop altogether.  
  
One afternoon, on their way home after volleyball practice, they walk, hand in hand, and neither of them bring up the _I love you_ thing even once. But they know each other well enough to hear it weigh in their silence—hear how troubled they both actually are, that something so simple is apparently so difficult to say. And when they tilt their heads slightly to kiss each other before they part to return home as they always do, there’s something bittersweet about it—nothing light and easy like their usual playfulness; this is something very unlike _them_. It’s a kiss they both hold on to, as though reminding themselves— _trying_ to remind themselves, maybe even trying to convince themselves—that despite everything, they’re both still okay together. That they are stronger than this. That they’ll get through it.  
  
Neither of them mention it, but when they pull apart to leave, their hands linger for a little too long. Neither look back.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day after is an uneventful Friday. They walk, chat, banter, hold hands, and lean against each other as per usual, but the feeling is quite the same as yesterday—oddly bittersweet, slightly troubled, holding onto each other as though afraid of the other slipping away.  
  
Matsukawa goes for a walk around his neighbourhood shortly after he arrives home. It’s usually a good way to clear his head whenever there’s something on his mind, but today, it does little more than make him wish that Oikawa had never mentioned the _I love you_ thing—or lack of. It’s made for an awkward week and a half, and he misses the days when he and Hanamaki could just freely enjoy each other’s company without this weird weight on them.  
  
Maybe they should sit down to have a proper talk about it. Maybe they just needed to—  
  
He blinks in surprise when he arrives back at his house, because, speak of the devil, Hanamaki is sitting on the front steps, tapping at his phone. He looks up when he sees Matsukawa, and both their faces soften into smiles.  
  
“Hey,” says Matsukawa, sitting down beside him.  
  
“Hey yourself,” says Hanamaki, putting his phone away. “Good timing; I just reached two percent of battery.”  
  
“You know you could just go inside to borrow my phone charger.”  
  
“I know,” is all Hanamaki replies with. And they fall silent.  
  
It’s happening again: their silences are usually comfortable, but this one is an odd sort of silence that’s frustrating and borderline awkward, which is unusual for them. It’s warm, the bugs of the late afternoon are making chirping noises, the sky is just starting to tinge golden orange, and Matsukawa thinks that maybe, somewhere, somehow, the two of them are making a big mistake of some sort.  
  
“Hey, I’ve been thinking for a while now,” says Hanamaki at last, slowly. “I think… I think we’re trying too hard.”  
  
Matsukawa stares at him, feels his heart rate speed up uncomfortably, feels his chest tighten a little. “What?”  
  
“Yeah. We’re trying too hard to say, ‘I… lllovvv…’— _that_. We’re just trying too hard to say that. You know. It’s just… not our kind of thing, trying to force it. It feels weird.”  
  
“Oh.” Matsukawa takes a deep breath as relief washes over him. “Oh. I thought… I thought you meant… we were trying too hard to like each other.”  
  
Hanamaki stares at him, aghast. “What? No! We’re _great_ at liking each other. We are a _great_ couple, everyone thinks so! It’s just… when it comes to us liking each other, I think we’re better at showing it with actions, not words. Don’t you think?”  
  
Matsukawa nods, smiles, breathes a little easier. “I do.”  
  
“I _know_ that you like me, and you know that I really like you, and… we fell into this dating thing so naturally, it feels weird to have to think about it so seriously. That’s just not our style, right? But I think that’s okay.”  
  
“Yeah,” says Matsukawa. “Definitely.”  
  
When Hanamaki doesn’t reply, Matsukawa chances a look at him, and sees Hanamaki watching him with his head slightly tilted.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Hanamaki asks.  
  
“Hm? Noth—”  
  
“Don’t. Come on, Matsukawa. What I am, a total stranger?”  
  
Matsukawa looks like he wants to argue, but when Hanamaki raises his eyebrows at him, he falters, gives an embarrassed half-grin, and ducks his head.  
  
“When I thought you meant we were trying too hard to like each other,” says Matsukawa, “it scared me a little, that’s all.”  
  
Hanamaki’s expression turns incredulous. Matsukawa shrugs and says, “It’s stupid, it’s nothing, I’m not…”  
  
He trails off when Hanamaki offers his hand, palm facing upwards, and, almost automatically, Matsukawa reaches for it. They entwine their fingers together, and at the familiar feel of their warm palms fitting together, the odd clenching in Matsukawa’s chest loosens completely, and he takes a deep breath and exhales, breathing the lie out of him, into the afternoon air. Hanamaki’s lips curl into a smile, and he gives Matsukawa a knowing look—one that speaks all the words they don’t need to say. Matsukawa laughs, soft, and no longer afraid.  
  
“You’re right. I know,” says Matsukawa. And he does. “To tell you the truth, I _was_ getting a bit worried that us not being able to say it meant something bad. But… it’s actually okay, isn’t it?”  
  
“I think so,” says Hanamaki, nodding. “We’re still kind of new at this, but we can figure it out. Let’s do this patiently.”  
  
“I can’t believe, you, of all people—”  
  
“ _Hey now_ —”  
  
“—are telling _me_ to be patient—”  
  
Hanamaki nudges him, grinning. “And I can’t believe _you_ , of all people, need to be told to be patient.”  
  
They share snickers, share a relaxed sigh, and then, after a moment, share a fond, trusting smile. Hanamaki pulls Matsukawa closer, and Matsukawa leans to rest his head against Hanamaki’s shoulder—practically melts against him, feels him press a kiss to his hair—and shuts his eyes.  
  
“I’m not worried,” Hanamaki murmurs.  
  
“Yeah,” says Matsukawa with an agreeable hum. “Neither am I.”  
  
And they stay that way for a long time, comfortable and content, allowing themselves to finally enjoy each other’s company and familiarity for what feels like the first time in ages—holding onto each other, but without the fear of slipping away, without that unfamiliar bittersweetness.  
  
This is more than okay—this is _them_ , and this is the best thing.  
  


**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Oh....... Haikyuu is set mostly in 2012, but _Kyoto Inferno_ came out in 2014, and _The Legend Ends_ was a 2016 film WHOOPS MY BAD  I can't believe I accidentally wrote a time-travelling AU fic   
> 


End file.
